Sunday, June 28, 2009
sch is starting tml ;
sighh ,
schooling is soo tiring .
& i dont knw tml must wear what !?
.__.
got ppl say halfU ; got ppl say fullU .
i blur liaos .
alright gt to pack !
tatas !
dreaming ; thinking of you .will you come back ?i miss you ;my darling.
10:55 PM
Saturday, June 27, 2009
i love you ;
if you turn around & look at me ,
i love you ;
if you are willing to be by my side ,
i love you ;
if you want me to stay here ,
i still love you ;
even if you look at other girls .
i will love you ;
as long as im still alive .
with every breath i take ,
i know i still love you .
& i want to love you .
10:41 PM
Friday, June 26, 2009
i dont know why my family says they care ;
do they know or notice when im sad ?
do they notice that im unhappy or crying ?
i dont even think they know i cry at night .
i want to scream out loud ;
i want to cry out all my feelings .
but i know its useless .
my life is meant to be a waste .
grandfather ;
i know & i hope deep down you care for me .
everytime it seems like ,
you were hoping me to make a mistake .
then you will call me stupid or no brain .
you make me feel so useless ; so hurt .
dont you know its so painful ?
you're my family !
whyy ; i dont know ...
granny ;
sorry i made you worried .
i love you alot ;
im sure you know that too .
im sorry i let you down .
im not a good granddaughter ;
im a failure i know .
mummy ;
sometimes you dont understand me .
i dont know what you are thinking either ;
yes i admit sometimes i do scold you in my mind .
but you are really unreasonable .
maybe its all my fault .
im the problem .
daddy ;
you dont talk much ;
but in the past you are so violent with me .
it made me a little afraid of you .
your temper is so unpredictable .
i know you love me .
despite all those ;
you nvr resist to get me a treat everytime .
maybe sometimes you forget ;
but we are family .
maybe all the problems lies in me ;
im wrong .
& im sorry .
all i wished is for some care ;
some sign that i can tell myself .
my family cares most about me ;
im the one they are proud of & i am proud of them .
how i wish i could boast about my family to my friends .
everyone of them seems to have a perfect family .
all except me ;
i dont even feel i belong in sch .
so left out sometimes that i could cry my heart out .
how i wish i could just disappear ;
i dont belong in this world .
maybe i should go & ; live in mars .
i should have never been born .
10:01 PM
im a dumbass ;
i should have grabbbed the chance last time .
now im only going to live & regret it .
i love you ;
do you know that ?
i want you to be by my side forever .
i really want that .
please god i beg you ;
may my wish come true .
how i wish ;
i wish you would hold me forever ;
i wish i could wake up & ;
the first person i see will be you .
i wish we could roll&tickle and laugh everyday .
i wish i could live with you ;
sharing your laughter , your tears .
today when i glanced at the clock i was afraid .
how i wish time will stop .
i dont want to leave you .
everytime i thot that i would not see you again ;
tears creep to my eyes again .
i want you .
i loved it when you held me .
without you holding me i feel cold .
cold&lonely .
even when i had nightmares ;
i could feel that i would wake up safe ;
cause you're here with me .
why was i so stupid to have not accepted you then .
im a moron .
i wish i could turn back time .
cause only in your arms ;
that i feel that i belong .
9:41 PM
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Sometimes i really think im dumb ;
dumb enough to believe in you .
i dont understand .
how can others say we aren't tgt ;
when we are in a relationship ?
is this a charade ; a game or
something that you're playing ?
you're not just playing my feelings ;
its my heart .
if its true ;
how are you just tear my heart like that ;
am i just that not important to you ?
am i just a toy ?
i dont know who you are anymore .
i just to think you love me ;
that you cherished me ;
now i feel like im just an idiot .
clinging on to sth impossible .
you've destroyed me ;
you've destroyed my life .
im not sure .
letting you go is hard ;
but have to be done .
its the best way for me ;
i dont want to be hurt anymore .
its so painful ;
that its called heartbreak .
8:27 PM
Thursday, June 11, 2009
i think ;
im beginning to believe in love again .
slowly bit by bit im falling in love all over again .
falling love with you .
please ;
may i be right .
heartbreak is really painful .
love me , my dear .
love me forever .
10:09 PM
