Wednesday, February 10, 2010
im getting scared ,
afraid that im being irritating or a pest .
im afraid that you'll hate me .
i know soccer's impt to you .
but why cant you just spend some time with me ?
even if its just a day ,
i'll be contented .
but i wont force you ,
i'll wait patiently for you .
no matter how long it takes ,
i'll always be here waiting for you .
sometimes your reluctance to go out with me ;
really hurts my heart ,
it turns my heart sour and cold .
& im freezing ,
from inside .
how i wished i could follow you wherever you go .
but i dont want to be a puppy following you around ,
i know you have your own freedom ,
but cant you spare a thought for my feelings ?
since i've fallen for you ,
i realised i've always texted or called you first .
do i really mean so little to you ?
or are you just taking me for granted ?
i only wanted you to love me just a bit more .
just a bit more .
i dont want to be a hopeless cause .
i can feel bulimia eating me up inside .
i wonder ,
if you'd ever felt too hungry , too hungry to eat ?
its coming back again ,
the scary cycle of bingeing and purging .
my gastric's getting worse ,
im so afraid one day i'll collapse & everyone will find out .
i dont want that to happen .
i dont want people to worry about me .
but i cant control myself any longer .
i just hope ,
i wont collaspe from the frequent stomach aches .
the stomach aches hurt so bad i want to cry out ,
i know its caused of me drinking too much water ,
expanding my tummy ;
then by purging ,
i shrink my tummy again .
i just cant control myself .
whenever i eat too full , theres a voice in me ,
saying im getting too fat , too obsese ,
then i'll just vomit everything out .
deep inside ,
i can only hope ,
for someone to rescue me .
pull me out of this living hell .
8:04 PM
