Wednesday, March 3, 2010
my heart's hurting so bad ,
its twisting and squeezing .
with every twist & turn , i feel worse .
with all these things happening to me ,
i cant take all these at once .
its like a strong punch to my stomach ,
so painful & suffering .
girlfriend , what have i done wrong ,
i dont understand my mistake .
j told me you felt leftout and jealous ,
just because i talked to him .
please , you know im not flirting with him .
im not even interested in him..
i only wanted him to convey a msg ,
but we got seperated .
why did you get angry over that ?
it makes me sad to know that you're like this .
girl ,
sometimes you always left me alone to talk to others .
sometimes you dont even accompany at all ,
but i didnt complain , i didnt get mad .
i just waited for you .
i dont understand .
am i too tolerating or you're too irritable ?
just now ,
it hurts me when you dont even look at me !
you dont turn when i call you ,
you dont even listen to me..
im such a failure .
im just a bitch ,
a fat , ugly , unsightly bitch that nobody wants .
i know im not as good as you ,
i know im worser by alot , but please dont ignore me .
dont leave me alone .
even dance ,
the tcher said i was so fat that the costume didnt look nice .
i know im fat , i know im ugly .
but why do you all have to comment and everything .
it makes me wince ,
i wonder if im just paranoid ,
but its just painful to compare myself to the other dancers ,
their slim elegant body cant be compared
to my fat ugly shapeless potato body .
i want to give up ,
i want to just let out all my sadness & frustration .
but i dont know how ,
i cant show anyone my this side .
nobody would even talk to me anymore .
but this feeling in my heart is killing me .
And this time ,
Nobody ,
nobody will catch me when i fall .
10:47 PM
